As I had mentioned in an earlier post, I'm not one for breaking any news. Go to a real internet website for that crap. HOWEVER a Yost Infection tipster sent me an email this morning with some breaking news that I could not keep to myself.
While obviously not a traditional choice, the coffee bean symbolizes the changing times. Where at one point the citizens subsisted on sausages to supplement their dietary needs, today Americans thrive on their daily cup of joe.
Expect a full out press release and new marketing campaign to emerge later this week. Don't forget-- you heard it from the Yost Infection first.
My tipster tells me that there will be changes in the traditional sausage race. Due to outcry from the Milwaukee Latino community the Brewers have decided to discontinue the Chorizo sausage from the sausage race festivities.
The removal of the Chorizo sausage has caused a stir within the Brewers marketing department. With all of the already ordered merchandise and money invested in a sausage race with 5 sausages, the Brewers have done an internal search for a replacement similar to the Chorizo that can be identifiable to players, management, and the fans.
The Brewers met with various organizations to try and come up with a suitable replacement sausage. The Salami, Keilbasa, Andouille, Braunschweiger and even the Pepperoni (are you kidding me?) all made their cases. HOWEVER, since many of these sausages carry some sort of racial stereotype with them (both German and Italian groups have promised mass boycotts if the Brewers name another sausage after them), the organization had to, for the first time - go with a non sausage mascot for the race.
After much consideration from management, the Brewers have decided on a new entrant in the traditional race: the Coffee Bean.
While obviously not a traditional choice, the coffee bean symbolizes the changing times. Where at one point the citizens subsisted on sausages to supplement their dietary needs, today Americans thrive on their daily cup of joe.
Surprisingly- my tipster said those familiar with the debates all point to the passionate speech by Ned Yost as the main reason for the change. Yost apparently spoke for upwards of 3 hours about coffee, only pausing to take a sip from his Venti Latte from Caribou and to talk briefly about a computer he was building. After his long soliloquy, Yost reportedly said, "Please, I beg of you - do not outlaw coffee from the dugout. I need it. I must have it. You take away my coffee, I will not only leave this team - I will end my life."
When informed afterwards what the debate was actually about, Yost replied "fuck it - use it in the god damn race, why do I give a shit?" All parties in the room were passionately crying at this point- and the Coffee Bean passed with unanimous consent.
Amazing.
My tipster was able to sneak out this picture taken a day later with the prototype together with the other sausage:
Expect a full out press release and new marketing campaign to emerge later this week. Don't forget-- you heard it from the Yost Infection first.
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