Excruciating

Unbearable to listen to

Hello from Arizona

Good morning folks. I was just checking in on the weather in Chicago and wanted to let you know that there will NOT be baseball played today, or at least NOT played on time.

Current view of Wrigley:

Too much time....

While this is actually awesome and not nearly as lame as refreshing the IGT on Brewerfan every 30 seconds to find out if the game is delayed ... its close. Very close.

Miller Park in Legos

Your NL Central Preview

So after analyzing PECOTA projections, using advanced analytics that I stole from NASA and camping outside of Buster Olney's house for the better part of 2 weeks -- I bring you my projections for the NL Central.

Listed in order below, I have also included basic reasoning behind my selection.

1. Brewers - They are awesome.
2. Pittsburgh - Jason Bay is from Canada = Awesome
3. Astros - Suck
4. Reds - Getting Griffey in the trade from Seattle will make them very hard to beat
5. Cubs - Suck

I'll save you the trouble

Of reading the new Mike Hunt article.

In a sense, this is a don't-ask, don't-tell kind of season for the Milwaukee Brewers.

You don't ask, because you already know the answer.

They don't tell, because what is the point anymore?

.........

(The next 500 or so words describe, with quotes obviously, how the Brewers expect to contend for the NL Central title. We learn crazy things like Yost needs to manage well, Gagne needs to come through and the Cubs are in the NL Central.)

........

And no teammates will be thrown under the bus from behind the plate.

So don't ask if the Brewers will be a better team. The time for asking, and telling, is over.

TYI News

Update your homepages! The Yost Infection is moving to http://www.yostinfection.com/. I suck at the internet but from my understanding you will still be redirected from the current address so it shouldn't make that much of difference...but if you check this site in a couple days and its not working - hit up yostinfection.com to get your breaking news and Michael Hunt updates.

And now, a random picture of Doug Davis I found while looking for soul patches on Google:

Say it ain't so

So I'll admit - until this morning I didn't know what David Riske looked like. I know, terrible fan, worse blogger. I remember watching him pitch a couple times last year with the Royals and before that with the Indians, but like many bullpen guys in the AL (who aren't on my fantasy team) I paid him no attention. So I was greatly disappointed to see that this trend is back with the Crew:


Come on man...the extended soul patch went out of style in 1998 and was officially shown the door when Double D was traded to Arizona. Riske - what are you doing??

It has been documented elsewhere...but in the history of the franchise the one thing that always accompanies winning is the moustache. Never forget that. Never.

Very Nice.....

(Peter Gregoire/SI)

Relax

Can we hold off on the Alcides Escobar as the future SS talk for a moment? I'll admit that I've been guilty of wanting to see what he can offer - especially after reading Haudricourt's rave reviews on JSOnline this spring.

Baseball Prospectus weighed in yesterday, placing Escobar in the "Don't Believe the Hype" category and after looking at his numbers I have to agree with them.

While he is still young, he has shown no ability to draw walks and slugs in the mid .300s - not good. I enjoy good defense as much as the next guy, but as far as prospects go Escobar is not the next Braun or Fielder...or even the next JJ Hardy. If he is able to contribute as a replacement should JJ go down, or even as a Craig Counsel type player - fine, but lets keep that as our expectations on not start evaluating Hardy's future trade value.

Am I wrong in feeling that Escobar feels like a slightly weaker hitting/better defensive Tony Gwyn Jr.?

I'm Flattered!

Wow, thanks for all the support guys. I had no idea you guys cared this much about me! I figured that as a mop up guy in the bullpen you people would finally leave me alone-- what with the 30 minute innings and inability to throw strikes -- only to find out the only thing you like more than arguing whether I should be in the rotation or bullpen is arguing whether I should be in the bullpen or get released!

I blushed when I read this on Haudricourt's blog:

---

STUPID! STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DID ANYONE SEE HOW GOOD VARGAS LOOKED (in terms of conditioning?) I AM APPALLED.

---

Awe shucks. Thanks guys. He even found his CAPS LOCK button for me!

The Brewers saved $2.7 million - did you see that? You think you could have traded my large salary? *blushes* You guys are too much.

Even I have to hand it to the Brewers- its a pretty shrewed move on their part. I mean, I'm almost 30 and have proven to be a astonishingly average player in the major leagues, why pay me all that money for long relief??

I'm kind of amazed that this is really a story at all - do other cities react like this when is when their 7th best starter is released? I didn't think so...it must be because I'm such Milwaukee legend!

Thanks again guys. You are too much.

So everyone, calm down. I'll catch on as a 5th starter on one of the weaker teams in the league and I'm sure I'll come back to beat the Brewers this summer and once again make everyone question their own lives.

Adios!

Wow...simply Wow

He has since taken down some of the more "private" things. Thankfully the link (With Leather.com) has some of the original pictures.

Can the Cubs Mend my Broken Heart

Wow

Mr. Law checks in

For anyone else bored at work today check out ESPN.com for a bunch of shorter chats with the different baseball writers. So far our good friend Keith took a break from preparing a dish of paella and playing guitar to check in on the Brewers young pitching.

Ricky (Albuquerque, NM): Hey Keith! Parra or Villanueva... Who has the better season?

Keith Law: (12:08 PM ET ) Parra. And I hope they give him a rotation slot - they're going to need good production from their rotation, because their bullpen is shaky.

I tend to agree with him but I wonder how many innings Parra is going to pitch this year. The major problem I have with him in the starting 5 is that he hasn't come close to hitting 200 innings in his career - how the hell do you expect him to carry that kind of load this year?

I do think that everyone besides Ned Yost agrees that our starting rotation is at its best with BOTH Villy and Parra.

Please stop...

With the Simmons for Bucks GM

I'm not even going to get into the numerous mistakes he has made regarding talent evaluation, his ability to make successful trades on Madden, the fact that he is a Boston douche, his wife is a Boston douche ("I would be the skinniest woman in Wisconsin if we moved there") or the fact that he actually seems upset that the Bucks have not contacted him about their non-vacant GM position.

I want you to read below, only instead of 2008 Bucks, insert "2002 Milwaukee Brewers."

(A) Not only are the 2008 Bucks headed for the lottery again, but there isn't a single player on their roster who could be the best player on a championship contender.

(B) If you're expecting the lottery to change things, know that there isn't a prospect in the 2008 draft who could be the best player on a championship contender with the possible exception of Michael Beasley (who has a little too much Glenn Robinson/Derrick Coleman in him for my liking).

(C) You can't sign a free agent who could be the best player on a championship contender because your previous GM killed your cap space for the rest of the decade.

(D) Of the available GM "candidates," there isn't a single one that could get their fans excited or even somewhat interested in any conceivable way.

(E) As tragic and depressing as this sounds, other than winning the 2008 lottery, framing LeBron James for a crime or bringing Don Nelson back to Milwaukee, the only realistic way that the Bucks could generate some local and mainstream buzz would be to make me a candidate. Think about it. They interview me and "Bucks Interview Sports Columnist for GM Job" becomes a national story, not because it's me, but because it would lead to a weeklong debate about whether a sports columnist could successfully run an NBA team. Name me another realistic move that the Bucks could make right now that would crack the first 10 minutes on "PTI," generate 100 comments on a sports blog or lead a sports radio show. You can't.

Ok. Besides the obvious differences between the two leagues (it takes longer to rebuild in baseball) the situation the Bucks are in is not much different than the situation the Brewers were in - in fact I think most people would agree that the 2002 Brewers were in much, much worse shape.

What did Brewers ownership do when they knew they needed a change? Hire Peter Gammons to run the team and get the fans excited? That would have gotten all kinds of airplay on ESPN! People would have been talking about it!

They instead interviewed different candidates from across the league and hired the former GM of the Texas Rangers most noted for signing A-Rod to a billion dollar contract.

Fans excited? Hardly.

What about the publicity? ESPN? Energized fan base?

You see, the Brewers actually sat down with qualified candidates and hired the one with the best LONG TERM plan to turn around a struggling franchise. I'm assuming Melvin didn't come into the interview with a notebook full of proposed trades and half baked ideas like "trade Yi to a city with a large Chinese population" (Good luck). He came into the interview with actual experience, relationships throughout the league like Jack Z and the Arizona Diamondbacks, and most importantly a long term viable plan to put a winner on the field.

Other blogs have done a much better job articulating why the Boston ass-clown should shut his mouth. I just ask you to look at the Brewers for an example of the right way to turn around a franchise and leave the gimmicks to the Cubs.

Wisconsin sports blogs- Please stop with the Simmons for GM rhetoric. It makes us all look bad.

Well....

God bless the Cactus Notes:

"See, I'm a nice guy," Yost joked. "I don't know why people don't know it."

This implies that Yost knows he is an asshole. I like this.

I'm also assuming the key word here is "joked." To help you out Ned, here is a guess why you come off as somewhat of a dick - someone wrote an innocent sentence about your love of coffee and you replied:

"Why would you write that? I don't drink 25 cups of coffee a day," Yost said. "Maybe seven or eight or 10, but not 25. And why is that anybody's business, how many cups of coffee I drink? That's the stuff that (ticks) me off."

I'm willing to give him another chance to redeem himself for the ridiculousness of last September, but I think its a fair assumption that he is a dick - right? Its probably a good trait of a manager and nothing to shy away from.

Embrace it Ned!

Hey Guys!

What's up guys?? How you assholes been? Sorry I couldn't throw the annual party this year, you know Bill Hall don't have shit on The Jenkins. You see The Jenkins' homerun the other day? I think J-Roll and Howard even tried to give me a high five! Hold on.

Oh, so he prefers I call him Jimmy. No biggie.

So I'm having and god damned blast with the Phillies. How is everything going there? How's Corey? I hear Joe D. is going to make the team. I miss his touch. Er....I mean I'm happy for him. I was crankin' the latest Jay Z album (have you heard of him?) yesterday just thinking about The Jenkins coming back to Milwaukee this summer. You see that full page ad in the JS? Hell fucking yeah, that's just how The Jenkins rolls.

Everyone is great here. I'm still getting to know most of the guys. Me and my boy Wes Helms been hanging out a lot, we closed down TGI's the other night after The Jenkins went yard! The Jenkins loves the Grapefruit league!

You guys take care - I'm going to see if Jimmy has gotten around to signing that baseball for my nephew. Its been a few weeks but its been busy here.

OT - Really???

This is a picture of my front yard (huge right?) on the second day of spring.

All I'm going to say is - Fuck you Mother Nature.

We're supposed to be playing baseball in 9 days? Are you serious? When the biggest news out of Brewers camp is a visit by some wrestler that I've never heard of, the last thing I want to see is 5 inches of snow in my front yard.

Opening day cannot come soon enough.

Oh Sh_t

From JSOnline:

Injury report: Shortstop J.J. Hardy missed his fifth consecutive day with the flu. He was back at camp but not in uniform for the game. Hardy has lost 10 pounds since he got sick and still feels week, he said. He was examined Friday to make sure Hardy actually had the flu and not something more serious.

10 pounds? Seriously? Why do I think this is going to be a problem? I am already imagining Hardy struggling in April - and this is the reason why.

I hope I'm wrong.

JS Online Comments of the Day Part III

HoneyBadger
Weeks is our 2B
March 17, 2008 8:31 PM ReportAbuse

Homer
trade JJ
March 17, 2008 8:38 PM ReportAbuse

Stephen Malkmus loves the Brewers

As a huge Pavement, and later Stephen Malkmus fan I got a really big kick out of this recent interview with SM.

Malkmus baseball preview

Check out the link to see his opinions on Corey Hart and other Brewers. The interviewer at one point calls the Brewers a "mediocre team" so he can obviously go suck a dick.

My favorite non-Brewer Q/A touched on Brett Myers:

YS: Did you feel conflicted about having Brett Myers on your team?

SM: He’s a bad man. He’s a bad redneck. There’s this guy that I did an interview with who covers Philly. He’s friends with the whole team, and he says they’re all awesome — except for Brett Myers. He says he’s a dumb redneck.

Dog Days of Spring

Is anyone else getting bored with Spring Training? For me it feels like it has been going on for 4 months and not 4 weeks.

So far here is what we have learned if we believe that Spring Training actually means something:

• Rickie Weeks sucks big time
• Prince doesn't like his contract - can't hit home runs
• Corey Hart, until recently couldn't hit
• Everyone is hurt or sick - Braun, Weeks, Cappy, Suppan, Hardy
• Tony Gwynn is an All Star

The thing is, that in 2 weeks when the boys show up in Wrigley, NONE of this will matter...and the previous 6 weeks performances mean next to nothing. Thus making this time of year the "dog days of spring."

The allure of watching baseball for the first time in months that got me through the first couple weeks is gone. Funny spring training stories have fallen by the wayside. Its no longer interesting to read about a pitcher getting shelled only because he was working on his fastball. Split Squad games and tie games...yuck.

Bring on the real games.

On that note, I'm actually a little busy with work the next couple days...so be patient with the lack of updates (Especially those that have TYI as their home page). Check back tomorrow afternoon for more ripping on Michael Hunt as well as new and creative ways to make fun of Yost's love of coffee.

Thank you Chicago

So I know I've made fun of Ryan Theriot and the Cubs plan to bat him 2nd. With the various options the Cubs have it seems suspect to put him and his .325 OBP in the top of the order.

Well to the Brewers dismay, the Cubs have listened. Yesterday Pinella unveiled new plans for the top of the order. He is planning to bat Theriot in the leadoff position.

Yes, Lou is going to give the guy getting with a .323 OBP and no power the most at bats.

New route to heart of the order

First the article goes through some reasons why Soriano isn't the best for the leadoff spot. You'll notice none of these are the real reasons he shouldn't be: he strikes out a lot and his power isn't best utilized in top of the order.

He (Pinella) later drove home the point: "The weather's cold in Chicago when we play the first six weeks or so of the season. And to get [Soriano] to the point where he might have to run [batting first], it's just taking chances."

You signed him to an 8 year $136 Million contract and now (in year 2) you're worried that he will get hurt because of the cold weather? Yikes.

More importantly. This leads me to believe that you really want Theriot to run a lot while your top HR threats sit in the 2-3-4 spot. Milwaukee thanks you.

"The first time I bat second in a big-league game [and] somebody was on base," Soriano said. "I did not feel very comfortable. I think I'll have to make a little adjustment. I have to play a couple more games batting second and see how I feel.

Milwaukee continues to think this is a good idea. Thank God Braun, Fielder, and the Brewer's other power hitters feel comfortable with men on base. Thank God.

......
1. Ryan Theriot. More of a prototypical leadoff hitter than Soriano because he still can steal bases with his fresh legs.

Prototypical leadoff hitters don't have .325 OBP. They just don't. And what the hell do you mean by "fresh legs." If the Cubs get Brian Roberts will they bat him 8th because his legs aren't as "fresh" as Theriot's?

2. Alfonso Soriano. Not a prototypical No. 2 either. But think of it this way: If he hits a homer his first time at-bat (he hit 12 last year), then some have a chance to score two runs instead of one because Theriot will be on base. Plus, he could become a huge RBI man if Theriot leads off with a single, steals second and scores on a single.

What a novel idea, bat your better power hitters towards the bottom of the order. Behind guys who get on base a lot (unlike Theriot).

Oh...to drive in Theriot after he steals 2nd? I don't have time to do a statistical study on how many extra RBIs Soriano gets because Theriot steals second base. Here is what is needed for this to happen:

1. Gets on base (.325 chance)
2. Steals base (he reached first base 152 times last year - attempted a steal about 25% of the time)
3. Soriano gets a single - .282 career avg.
4. Single is hit to a place where Theriot can advance from second

I would guess the Theriot single- 2B steal- Soriano single to drive him home happens less than 5 times per year? Is this above/below MLB average? Not sure.

Keep in mind while Theriot has above average speed, he isn't among the league's best and he doesn't get on base as frequently as a good leadoff person would.

So to sum up - while Milwaukee isn't in a place to talk about weird lineups, we love the Dusty Baker type of pontificating and the misuse of a large payroll.

Keep it coming.

Shelley Duncan is......

A douche bag.

I don't really care about the Yankees. I could care less what they want to do with their money. I even kind of like A-Rod because he is good and the NY media hates him.

However, Shelley Duncan pulls a move that I would have only expected out of a grinder like Eckstein or Theriot.

(AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar)

"I saw it a couple times," Duncan said Thursday. "I still don't understand why they were as upset as they were."

Are you dry banging me? Not sure why they were upset? You have you cleat in his junk. I would like to thank Shelley Duncan for giving me a reason to hate the Yankees for as long as he is on the team.

Another link

Sorry for the barrage of links - I'm aware that other Brewer blogs handle that quite efficiently. However I did want to pass along a new Baseball Prospectus article that examines the Kendall batting 9th strategy.

Link

I naively trust BP to deal with statistics for me, and they usually don't disappoint. Here is basically the conclusion that Dan Fox comes to:

What makes it work in this case is that Kendall's combination of an adequate OBP and a woeful slugging percentage is not that different from the typical ninth spot hitter in the order. This means that when batting eighth he won't be driving in many of the four-through-seventh place hitters who reach base, but when hitting ninth he gets on base enough to allow Fielder and Braun opportunities to drive him in, resulting in a net offensive gain. It appears the break-even for this strategy as far as the Brewers go is somewhere around Kendall delivering a .360 SLG. That is, if Kendall's slugging percentage were .360 or higher (while delivering the same OBP), it would essentially be a wash as to whether to bat him eighth or ninth.

I think it makes sense. I get the feeling from reading different opinions on the topic that it really doesn't matter that much. What does matter? The starting rotation. Ned- lets settle that now and we'll spend more time on Kendall later.

Couple quick links

• Pretty good interview with Mose Shrute..aka Ken Tremendous of FJM. A couple good tidbits for any fans of The Office.
• Worst fantasy draft I have ever seen - Despite the Prince selection of course
• Doug- Trade a pitcher! At this point I don't think most Brewer fans even care who you trade (Vargas-Cappy-Bush), where you trade them, or who you get back. Just make the move. Want to piss the most people off? Start Villy in the minors. Just try it.
• Baseball Prospectus article on the Brewers. I think it might be subscription only - but it basically touches on what a great season Braun had last year and his domination of left handed pitching. Also talks about our youngest infield in Major League history.
• Kaz and Pie more than friends? Maybe....
• This is worth checking out - he makes a good point about Mike Hunt's newspaper, but more importantly you can see Ned Yost IV and Pops right next to each other.

For "anonymous"

Sorry for the Michael Hunt post. Since TYI is undoubtedly your homepage, here is a picture of a pony to make you feel better:

Welcome to the party Mike

(I googled Michael Hunt and this picture came up...no clue who Dick Pole is. But what an awesome name.)

A little timeline here:

• February 21st - Ryan Howard wins arbitration hearing. Media begins writing about Fielder's upcoming contract situation.
• February 29th - Michael Hunt writes about steroids.
• March 1st - Hunt writes about the Brewer's defense.
• March 2nd - Prince Fielder's contract is renewed with the Brewers. Prince reacts poorly.
• March 2nd- Haudricourt writes details in JSOnline Blog.
• March 3rd - Haudricourt writes details in the Journal Sentinel.
• March 3rd - Hunt writes about Ned Yost
• March 4th- Subject is exhaustively covered by numerous internet outlets- ESPN, blogs, etc.
• March 4th- Hunt writes about Tony Gwynn Jr.

That brings us to today, March 12th. Ten days after the news of Fielder's contract situation came to light. Eight days after the rest of the media ended its coverage.

Welcome Mike, glad you made it.

Listen, I know you're busy and the Brewers aren't the only sport you cover. To top it off I actually agree with your larger point here, but ten days to explain how salaries work in MLB (while offering the opinion of -"Prince should be patient")? That sounds familiar, and do you know why? Because Haudricourt covered this...um...lets see...oh there it is...10 days ago!

I will leave you with the classic Mike Hunt opening:

Sending the clubhouse attendant on a wild-mushroom chase around the Menomonee Valley for a tofu-and-sprouts sandwich is one thing.

So is becoming the clubhouse recycling police.

Those are harmless pursuits, guaranteed mostly to draw abuse from the clubhouse pack, even toward the Alpha dog.

Greetings Commoners!

Hi. I'm Keith Law.

I love Rickie Weeks, he is in for a breakout year.

I think that the Foie Gras tonight was a tad bit dry while the Pinot we enjoyed had a subtle richness not often found in a 1998.

I can't believe people actually go to that trash that is the Cannes Film Festival. Bourgeois society has no place for that!

I actually said this in an interview:

KL: I just play (guitar) for fun. It’s relaxing, and there’s great satisfaction in learning to play a new song, no matter how simple. I like to read, mostly classical literature, anything by PG Wodehouse, history of science books, and of course, books about baseball. I love to cook - actually, that’s probably my main hobby. When I get home from a trip to Toronto, usually the first thing I do is cook an elaborate meal. In the fridge right now, I’ve got a chicken soaking in buttermilk to be fried up tonight.

I obviously, rarely speak to anyone without an Ivy League degree.

I don't use a computer, that is peasant work

I have no idea why no one at ESPN will talk to me.

Breaking News

As I had mentioned in an earlier post, I'm not one for breaking any news. Go to a real internet website for that crap. HOWEVER a Yost Infection tipster sent me an email this morning with some breaking news that I could not keep to myself.

My tipster tells me that there will be changes in the traditional sausage race. Due to outcry from the Milwaukee Latino community the Brewers have decided to discontinue the Chorizo sausage from the sausage race festivities.

The removal of the Chorizo sausage has caused a stir within the Brewers marketing department. With all of the already ordered merchandise and money invested in a sausage race with 5 sausages, the Brewers have done an internal search for a replacement similar to the Chorizo that can be identifiable to players, management, and the fans.

The Brewers met with various organizations to try and come up with a suitable replacement sausage. The Salami, Keilbasa, Andouille, Braunschweiger and even the Pepperoni (are you kidding me?) all made their cases. HOWEVER, since many of these sausages carry some sort of racial stereotype with them (both German and Italian groups have promised mass boycotts if the Brewers name another sausage after them), the organization had to, for the first time - go with a non sausage mascot for the race.

After much consideration from management, the Brewers have decided on a new entrant in the traditional race: the Coffee Bean.

While obviously not a traditional choice, the coffee bean symbolizes the changing times. Where at one point the citizens subsisted on sausages to supplement their dietary needs, today Americans thrive on their daily cup of joe.

Surprisingly- my tipster said those familiar with the debates all point to the passionate speech by Ned Yost as the main reason for the change. Yost apparently spoke for upwards of 3 hours about coffee, only pausing to take a sip from his Venti Latte from Caribou and to talk briefly about a computer he was building. After his long soliloquy, Yost reportedly said, "Please, I beg of you - do not outlaw coffee from the dugout. I need it. I must have it. You take away my coffee, I will not only leave this team - I will end my life."

When informed afterwards what the debate was actually about, Yost replied "fuck it - use it in the god damn race, why do I give a shit?" All parties in the room were passionately crying at this point- and the Coffee Bean passed with unanimous consent.

Amazing.

My tipster was able to sneak out this picture taken a day later with the prototype together with the other sausage:

Expect a full out press release and new marketing campaign to emerge later this week. Don't forget-- you heard it from the Yost Infection first.

Yost = Tony LaRussa??

So Ned is going to stick with the idea to bat Kendall ninth in the order. I don't think most people really think this is much of a big deal and I don't think this matters much either. I would however, like to see the numbers that Yost came up with that justify the move.

Most studies (including an exhaustive 2005 Baseball Prospectus statistical analysis) on the batting order show that outside of the obvious -- getting your best hitters the most ABs -- it doesn't really matter.

No harm in trying something new - I'd just like to see if there is legitimate data, or just something Ned thought up after his 14th cup of coffee while building a new supercomputer and thinking about the recent NASCAR event at Talladega.

I think the most difficult part in batting the pitcher 8th is dealing with both the fans and the media. Its an unorthodox move...everytime the 8th spot comes up with the bases loaded or everytime the offense struggles, one of the things they're going to point to is the batting order. Though it doesn't matter all that much- its what will happen. I predict that after the Brewers first losing streak Yost will scrap the idea. My guess - April 23rd.

Whenever you get mad, just remember that Craig Moeller once graced the 8th spot. You can't do worse.

Ken Tremendous is awesome

Two great articles that I would recommend to help pull you through a cold as hell Monday. The first one is FireJoeMorgan's take on a recent Dusty Baker article from the Cincy Enquirer. Simply amazing and on point.

My favorite part (Cincy Enquirer article in bold, FJM's commentary in italics):

The best thing about Baker is that from all accounts, it's important to him to know his players individually: what jazzes them, what scares them, the situations that best suit their talents and temperaments. Contrary to the notions of the seamheads and stat freaks, players are not numbers.

Don't use jazz as a verb, please. Also: stat freaks and seam heads hate baseball. They are fucking ASIMO robots who make managerial moves through NASA press releases. Eric Wedge makes his moves from home, via on-line chats. Terry Francona has never met anyone on his 25-man roster. Joe Maddon is a 2.4 gigahertz Linksys router. Manny Acta is actually M.A.N. eACTA, the black-ops code-name for the Mechanized Algorithmic Numerical (internet-ready) Actionable Computation Techno-Automaton. When his "contract" runs out with the Nats he is going to be launched into space. We are weaponizing space. Deal with it, China.

---

Next Mike Downey perfectly articulates the ridiculousness of the Wrigley name change proposal and the backlash from the fans (and the Sun Times).

This is a rather lengthy except, but its good and worth reposting. Check out the entire article for more.

Waaaah! They're going to sell Wrigley Field's name! Waaaah! It's going to be Marshall Field's and Macy's all over again! Waaaah! What next? The International House of Pancakes White House? The Taco Bell Taj Mahal?

Waaaah!We must stop Sam Zell! Waaaah! He might sell the North Side to North Korea next! Waaaah! Wrigley Field is the most hallowed garden since Adam met Eve! Waaaah! Wrigley Field must be known as Wrigley Field and not known as Nike's Wrigley Field or Apple's Wrigley Field or else I am going to hold my breath until I turn Cubbie blue! Waaaah!

Man, give it a rest.

Can't you all wait a few weeks? See how this thing plays out? See if nothing happens at all?

Can't you calm down and see if some multibillionaire like Bill Gates is willing to make it "Wrigley Field Brought to You by Microsoft" and donate an extra $100 million to the beautification of the neighborhood? Or if maybe Met Life comes along and wants to put Snoopy in a cool Cubs cap atop that sign at Clark and Addison, would that be so bad?Look, if this lovely little ballpark of ours does get sold to somebody embarrassing, then you can organize a protest.

If the new owners turn out to be the Head-On ("apply directly to the forehead") people or the Preparation H people or the makers of lead-filled toys from China, give me a call. I'll carry a picket sign. Otherwise, lighten up.

Leave it to Cubs fans to cry about something that hasn't happened.

Viva Las Vargas!

Well, I know my MLB career has been good, not great but I'm happy with the effort I've put in so far. Thats one of the bad things about being on a good team - playing time will decrease. Sure, if I wanted to start I'd go to Washington or Kansas City but I really think that this team is good - I'd be glad to help the Brewers out anyway I can.

Hold on...got a phone call.

What? Who's this Handricunt guy? He said what? Wow. No kidding. Me? Nice.

Sorry about that. Just talked to my friend - he told me they are reporting that I have a shot to make the rotation this year! I know, it doesn't really make much sense. I mean I had a 5.09 ERA and a 1.54 WHIP last year, hardly ever made it out of the 5th inning, and even got demoted to the pen towards the end of the year! I thought since we brought in some younger guys who have had more success than me I'd be out of the rotation for sure! Holy shit this is a great feeling. I didn't know that because I pitched last year that I'd have a better chance to be in the rotation again! I didn't even think I would be considered. I mean...a 5.09 ERA? Wow! I had a 1.54 WHIP! Yahtzee!

What a day, what a country this America is. I love you all!!

Dusty!

Living in Chicago during the end of the Dusty Baker era gave me a great view into the genius of the manager. Angrily lashing out at the media for questioning him when the team was losing, abusing and ruing the career's of Wood and Prior, repeatedly saying "come on dude," and insinuating that African American players struggle at Wrigley because they get hotter during the day than their light skinned counterparts are just some of the reasons I trusty in Dusty (plus...Dusty drives Chevy- never forget that).

Well, he is at it again. The man with the famous "clogging the bases" quote continues to deliver pure gold every time he opens his mouth.

"Guys in the middle should score about close to equal to what they drive in. On-base percentage, that's fine and dandy. But a lot of times guys get so much into on-base percentage that they cease to swing. It's becoming a little bit out of control."

Reds fans rejoice, your manager doesn't want his players to "get so much into OBP." I wouldn't want many guys on base either if I was in charge of a team. OBP = RBIs? Nah. HR= RBIs. Next thing you know he'll start telling his top prospect with a .908 OPS from last year to make sure he swings and doesn't worry about walking. What? Oh no. Really? Shit.

On Votto: “He needs to swing some more. I talked to him about that. Strikeouts aren't the only criteria. I'd like to see him more aggressive.”“A lot of this on-base percentage is taking away the aggressiveness of some young kids. Most of the time you’ve got to put handcuffs on a young to keep him from swinging.” - Reds Insider

All this talk about free swinging makes it quite obvious who Dusty's favorite player of all time was.

Have fun Cincinnati. Have fun.